Let me first start by apologizing to all those eager followers that have been anxiously waiting daily for my blog to actually start. I’m sorry if waiting all this time has caused sleepless nights because you were all obviously thinking constantly about me, my wellbeing and the need to tell me how much i’m being missed back home.
Well, the above paragraph clearly shows that my personality has not changed a tiny bit and i’m still big headed me :p.
To cut a long story short, my previous draft failed. I cannot be bothered to actually explain why but I initially thought that volunteering for the Israeli army would be easy but I can truthfully say it’s been like going to hell and back trying to get me in. I am now waiting to go in on the November draft which is actually on the 30th of October. (The Israeli army draft 3 times a year; March, August and November.) In the meantime, in the time I have to wait, I’ve been participating in a program called Aish Machal. It is a 6 week program run by Aish Hatorah in Israel designed to train a small group of boys that live outside of israel for the army, both mentally and physically. The program is structured depending on how well the group performs the previous week. The more they can see us being able to handle, the harder it is for us. So far and I speak for all the guys on the course, the past 3 weeks have been the of the most physically and mentally demanding times of our lives however at the same time the most fulfilling. I cannot even begin to explain what we’ve been through, what we’ve learnt about the limits of our bodies and what a team can accomplish when we work together. So far this has been the most incredible experience of my life, we’ve done things that we would thought to have never been possible and already are brothers for life.
I don't feel its necessary to explain in full detail the whole program so far, but I want to write about my first week, which had the the biggest impact on us and a few other things from the other weeks.
Monday 12th September:
The program commenced at 3pm and all 19 of us met in the new Aish building in the old city. Different nationalities include America, England, Canada (shout out to ma boi Tobin Kaiman) and France. Over the next 7hrs we were each individually interviewed by the people who run the program. During that (as i’m writing this Shuy Salzman and Yaakov Berdurgo are driving me insane) time we all became quite aware that this group was blessed with a bunch of really great guys. At 10pm we we’re all taken in silence to a part of the old city and shown how to stand in a typical formation whilst being addressed in the Israeli army. The formation is called a “chet”, like the 8th letter in the hebrew alphabet simply because it looks like that letter. We have to stand up straight, feet “V” shaped and hands behind our backs. As we all stood in silence, a tank of a man walked into the square slowly and silently and glared at us individually without a sound. My tongue by this time was well inside my digestive system and I suddenly realized what I had got myself into. He started by shouting at us in hebrew that I could have sworn sounded like Japanese and we just looked at him blankly. We started with pushups. When he said hebrew for 1, we went down and 2 meant push up. Army pushups are not at all fast but consists of slow movement and supporting your body for longs periods of time off the floor. This makes it far more difficult. (EVERYTHING we do in our day is timed. We are constantly resetting our watches as we await the next task. 10 seconds to make a formation here, 20 seconds to sprint and make a formation over there, 10 minutes to clear up all your stuff, 10 minutes to wash the floor/clean the toilets etc. By doing this we are learning that every second in the army is holy and as each day passes we learn to work efficiently as a team and become that little bit more disciplined. Not to forget absolutely exhausted. We are also punished for speaking English) We then did sprinting. 15 seconds to run for here to there and be in formation. This went on for sometime. After setting up our dorms (hall in the muslim quarter) and carrying beds and mattresses throughout the old city we eventually made it to bed at 4am Tuesday morning. (For those that are worried about my well being in the muslim quarter, we carry knifes and we all have metal polls next to our beds so its all ok :) )
Tuesday 13th September:
Jumped out of bed at 5:45am to the sound of our Mifaked (commander) screaming at us. We were given a few minutes to pack a bag with water, brush teeth and be in formation. As we were not ready on time, we were told to drop down into matzav shtaim (pushup position where you support yourself off the floor with your hands). The mifaked continued to shout at us for what seemed like a lifetime as this exercise drains the strength out of our arms (not for getting 1hr 45min sleep). After davening, we got on a mini bus to travel to Tel aviv. After a “delicious” breakfast of a small bun and some chocolate milk we went on a walk for approx 3 miles. 30 minutes of pushups, sit ups, lots of shouting and a quick visit from some actors from twilight, CSI and desperate housewives (don’t ask why), put us in quite a bad mood. We spent about 2 hrs in a museum by the tel aviv beach and I have no idea what it was because I was just too tired as well as simply not caring :). We were then lead down onto the beach and before we had time to change our clothes, we were crawling up and down the hot sand with our 2 liter water bottles for the next 3 or so hours. Skin quickly scraped off our arms, sweat made all the sand stick and I seriously didn’t enjoy Tel avivs SANDwiches. (please appreciate the genius of that joke). They then mixed in crawling with timed sprinting and formations. “Lunch” was served at around 5 o’clock and it had only struck us then, how much work we had done that day with such little food and sleep. At 10pm we were told to get ready for bed. At 10:01pm we were told to get dressed for running. This was the worst night of my entire life. We were introduced to a lovely man called the Samal and I quote “He is here to rape you”. When his name is mentioned we shake, when we see him we go white. He can punch and kick us all he likes and make us do anything he wants. Anyone that moved out of place, spoke or did the slightest thing wrong was beat. He made us do a ton of more crawling (all timed) on rough ground, grass and rocks which re opened the wounds of earlier that day. If we didn’t do something in time, no matter how hard it was we would repeat it till we got it right. Even if you finished early you would have to do matzav shtaim (pushup position where you support yourself off the floor with your hands) till everyone had finished the exercise. Thank G-d the fitness level of the group is very high so we finish quite fast. After around another 15 min of constant matzav shtaim we resigned to our usual formation where we received a cap for our good work along with 2 punches to the stomach.
Everyone must do shmirah (guard duty) at night for half an hour. We must not sit or do anything apart from stand by the door. I’ve never thanked G-d for the invention of the iPod more!
Wednesday 14th September:
We were up again with the beautiful sound of our Mifaked screaming at us after 3 and a half hours sleep. Krav Maga (Israeli Martial arts) was taught to us by an Israeli Navy Seal and he doesn’t seem to believe in mouth guards or any sort of protective gear whilst training. The next hour was a sort of bloodbath where you could beat your partner how you wished (apart from a few forbidden areas which needless to say became very bruised). Exercises such as hands behind your back while your partner punches you in the stomach is now a daily routine. Did I mention we weren't allowed to drink during the class! The afternoon was spent setting up our bank accounts for the army and just enjoying a little break in each others company. In the evening, we were taken to a race track where we had an official army fitness test. Bear in mind the previous exercises carried out that week made very achey and we were walking like a bunch of old women by that time. A 2km run had to be done in under 10:30 min followed by 76 pushups and 86 full sit ups. We would receive a score out of 100 which would determine how fit we were. I did a slow 2k of 9:47 min, 96 pushups and 110 sit ups. (My Mums face expression currently is “he’s such a show off”). Back to the dorms to pack a bag cuz tomorrow is gonna be HELL!!!
Thursday 15th September:
Woken up at 2:30 in the morning after 2hrs of precious sleep. Told to pack a bag with basic materials and a minimum of 4 liters of water. We were given a certain amount of time to clean the showers, toilets and wash the floor. Completely drunk on the lack of sleep, we arrived in the mountains at around 3:30 where we started learning tactics in the fields and hills. We learnt how to react to a grenade, to motor fire and how to secure the injured. We did a bit of sprinting, sprinting up a hill and some poor fellow (love you Moshe Steinberg) had to carry me and my backpack over his shoulders down the hill whilst sprinting. 5 till 6 am we were given time to daven and eat breakfast(bread, humus and cream cheese barf!!!). At 6am we embarked on the longest hike everrrr!!! It was all uphill, boiling hot and we were given more water bottles to take. When we stopped for water, we never were allowed to sit down. The closest we got to a rest was crawling up a hill through the thorns and the person bleeding the most won. Kind of twisted stuff!! Around 2/3 of the way through the hike we were told to sleep. Little did we know only for a half an hr. The remain of the hike would be best described of something out of a zombie movie. All completely fatigued and dizzy, we made it through to the end. We were congratulated at the end with a double punch to the chest from our Mifaked. After more sprinting and formations we finished off with an awesome BBQ. Originally we were told that we would end the week after this trip but they tricked us and told us at the minute we would be staying till Motzei Shabbat.
There was no greater feeling than the end of that week. Not that it was over and done with, but that we had all completed it to the very end. It was a complete shock to our system and there we times where we didn’t want to continue but the vibe of the group continued which meant so did we.
The hardest night of the program so far was Monday 26th September. After 3 hours of sleep and obviously a tough day before, we started on an exercise with 4 liters of water in our backpacks as well and 2 stretchers with people on them at all times constantly walking fast and changing carriers every 30 seconds. We carried it on our knees and crawling on the grass and on the pavement. We were constantly punched and kicked. Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse we were lined up on the floor and 4 guys had to carry the stretcher over everyone in crawling position. To spice it up glass bottles were thrown at the wall behind us so the glass would cover everyone. Our lovely Arab next door neighbors were not happy to see a bunch of jewish kids in their neighborhood so decided to throw a huge rock at us from the top of the old city. We got the guys off the stretchers and sprinted off as the Mifakdim (commanders) aimed their guns at them. Running and walking up Har Hazetim (Mt of Olives) was not an easy task and neither was coming back down. After another shlep around walls of the old city and necks and backs slowly caving in, we arrived back at the Kotel where we received another double punch and celebrated another successful masa (hike) with hugs and song.
So here I am at the end of my 3rd week. We’re all so close already because we’ve been though a lot so day and it feels like an eternity already. We have regular Krav Maga classes, fitness classes, hebrew classes and much more but Rosh Hashana is in a few hours so I have to finish sometime and i’m probably already boring you with my moaning!
I seriously miss my family and close friends i’m sure you all know who you are and I wish I was with you for the holidays. All have a great and successful year ahead and I promise i’ll write again soon so don’t loose out on too much sleep missing me. Love you all xxxx
